Weigh in

It's been a couple of weeks since I took the time to sit down and blog.  I guess I kind of lost interest in it for a bit thinking, why when no one is reading it?  I think I have decided that I need to do this in order to keep my goal in sight and in a semi public way that isn't embarassing.  They say when you try to lose weight you should tell everyone, so others are holding you accountable.  Being a closet dieter is not good as  you will slack on it more.  So this is my way of being more public about something i genereally hold very private and wouldn't normally even discuss with my husband.

I think I have been doing really well over the last two weeks but not great.  I have kept up the calorie counting and the portion control.   I continue to eat good food that is mostly homemade, I avoid processed food everywhere possible and have made sure veggies consist of the majority of my eating habits.  I think the most significant difference is I have NOT been limiting myself to a one meal a day (supper) which I have done for most of my life and have started making sure I eat breakfast on a daily basis - even if it is only a handful of almonds.

The workouts have been a little less consistent.  I'm only getting in about 30 minutes a couple of times a week instead of the 4-5 I was doing.  Life has gotten so busy with the melting of the snow and the nice weather.  I have had acres of yard to rake and garbage that needs picked up, fencing we are doing and we have fallen into cords upon cords of wood.  So I have been burning calories with our regular spring time activities, but they have kept me so busy that taking 30-45 minutes to exercise, then shower, then ice my knee for 30 minutes has seemed like something I don't want to "waste" the day doing.   I think I have sorted out in my mind now though, that everything else will wait and I need to take that hour a day for me and for what I am trying to accomplish and know that all the rest is going to get done eventually anyway. 

Today was Monday and therefore a weigh in day.  Even though moving all those heavy trees has been making me sweat, I really wasn't expecting to much in the weight loss department.  I was really pleasantly surprised though when I stepped on the scale and noticed I was down 4 pounds since I last weighed in on the 12th....that was only 4 days ago!  I was amazed i lost a pound a day without the exercise and just with the diet control and normal living.  That took me down to a total of 22 pounds since getting serious back on April 5.  I have reached the second goal.  20 pounds down...more to go!

The next goal I am hoping to acheive is to be down to 230 pounds by the end of May.  It gives me 2 more weeks to try and burn off about 6 more pounds.  I'm thinking at this rate I can do it!

The weekend....

How have things been going since I last was here??

Friday was a busy day for me.  I had my workout out in my barns, where once a week I do a complete clean out and change over.  It's usually about 3 hours of shovelling out a combination of shavings and manure over about 3000 square feet, Shovel, Shovel, lift, carry, Shovel....it's all very physical work and I am usually sweating pretty good by the time it is finished and generally need a recovery day afterwards that I may plan a quiet computer day or something.  When I finished out there I had 8 little Dalmatian puppies to bath, dry, phtograph and video graph with the kids and of course supper to make.   Breakfast/lunch was a peanut butter bun with banana.  Supper was spaghetti Squash and brussel sprouts with salt and pepper. 

Saturday I decided I wanted a lazy day with a book that I needed to read for my book club meeting today.  I spent a relaxing morning, got up and did my biggest loser workout and then went back to reading my book.  We also managed a couple other projects that worked out quite well.  It was nice to be able to relax for a change.   Lunch was a pickle and a glass of milk.  Supper was a chicken stirfry that I ate over about 1/2 a cup of rice. 

Sunday was an okay day.  I won in some area and not in others.  I have read as part of most diets it's good to have one day a week where you have a free day and make sure you eat within reason but foods you wouln't nomally eat on your diet, so that your body doesn't feel it is starving, slow down your metabolism and store fat.   I had decided that I wanted to get some baking down as we were running low on buns and I bake the family supply myself.  While the buns were raising I figured I better make the kids some cookies for lunches as well.  I did excellent.  The kids were my official cookie tasters, although I admit over the course of the day I did eat 4 myself.  Lunch was a ham bun before we went off to get in a good swim before coming home and eating ham, lettuce, cheese and tomato buns.  I had three and then, sinc emy freezer was now filled with cookies and buns, I needed to help my husband eat the last two peices of icecream cake.  Yum.  So not a great day, but it was a nice and relaxed day.

Today is Monday and therefore official weigh in day.  I am down 5 pounds from last Monday!  This makes me happy and I am almost bouncing over to the TV in order to do the biggest loser workout again.

feeling better

There was a post on my facebook page this week from QuickChick.  She said something to the tune of many people thinking that weight loss is 80% nutrition and 20% excercise.  She had made the comment that she believes it to be 100% mental and I would have to agree.

Now that I have actually made the choice that this is what I want to do, it's almost easy.  There is no decision...the exercise will happen today, the right food will be consumed in smaller quantities with very little guilt going on.  There is no temptation when you mentally put the block up and tell yourself that going back isn't an option.

I didn't even consider anything other than a salad when we ate out in the city today.  I didn't feel inclined to put a single processed item into our food cart.  Skipping out on a workout just wasn't an option, there will be a time and a place for it, I am sure if my knee acts up, but for now, all is going good.

It's amazing how much better I feel better about myself and I am already feeling a positive change from the workouts.  Squatting is easier and I have already been able to cinch the belt up one more hole.  I need to keep this up!

What did I eat yesterday?  I had some of the leftover meatloaf as a breakfast lunch.  It was so yummy...I love meatloaf.  I did have a couple bites of Kraft Dinner with it, which I almost hate to admit.  We buy almost nothing processed, pasta being pretty much the only thing and that's only because I am too lazy to make it most days, even though I bake our bread and other things we avoid processed.  Kraft Dinner is my weakness.  I don't usually eat it myself but even though I know how horrible it is, I will often make it for the kids as a fast lunch when I am too busy for anything else.  Yesterday was one of those days.  There was preschool in the morning, which I came home form, got in the 30 minute biggest loser workout, a shower and 30 minutes with ice on my knee before it was time to head back and pick her up.  Then it was a quick lunch and we loaded and off loaded three trailer fulls of garbage to the dump...about 120 bags of shaving and manure from mucking out my barn.  Supper last night was spaghetti and jambalaya...the sauce consisted of meat balls, sausage, shrimp, and red peppers.  I also steamed the last of the brocolli as a side and made a big salad.  After drinking three glasses of water, eating a bowl of salad and a cup of steamed broccoli, I was able to keep the portion size of the pasta down to a cup and the sauce down to about a half a cup. 

Today's diet consisted of an egg, scrambled with a bit of the leftover jambalaya sauce on top. We had a trip into the city today for more veggies and so lunch was a delicious Costco chicken apple pecan salad.  Supper when we got home was just a leftover night.  I had a cup of spaghetti with some jambalaya sauce on top.  Dessert I did allow myself a frozen yogurt bar.   Exercise today was pretty much nonexistent, but tomorrow is another biggest loser day.  I will probably go do a couple daily 100's just to make sure I get something in today.

2.5 Stars

Well if yesterday was a movie, I think I would have given my effort about 2.5 stars.  I can't say I am completely impressed with how I did.

I was feeling good and wanted to pop in the Biggest Loser Boot Camp DVD again.  The workout was awesome and I look forward to really improving my form/effort/time/endurance on it.  I've always heard about needing a day of rest in between that kind of a work out though and since my muscles were still sore and repairing, I figured I would put in Your Shape and play some fitness games, do some cardio fitness training and take a fitness class.  It resulting in a couple hundred calories burned but after doing the biggest loser workout, it hardly seemed like a satisfying workout, but it was something, so I couldn't be too disappointed.

Breakfast was skipped.  Lunch was a piece of Squirrely bread, with a piece of lettuce and a slice of tomato and a teaspoon of mayo. I know I should try to cut that out, but I don't want to cut out all the flavor from my meals or I feel I will be left wanting and more likely to snack. 

I feel I let myself down a little at supper time though.  I had a about 2 cups of a nice garden salad with a bit of ranch dressing.  I had about 2 cups of steamed broccoli, and then because I just couldn't resist the yumminess of it....I had a slice of meatloaf about 1cmX 3 cm X 4 cm and 5 perogies.  Even knowing that 4 perogies was 220 calories....I still ate 5 of them. 

Then to make matters worse, a couple hours later after coming back from softball and cleaning up the kitchen, I have to have another slice of meatloaf and since it was my hubby's birthday there was also a yummy frozen icecream cake that I had a slice of.

I use a program sporatically called My net Diary.  I just typed all that in to get an idea of how many calories that all was, and it only spit out at me that is was 1200 Cal.  So I guess I don't have to beat myself up about it too badly!  Maybe I should change my rating from 2.5 stars to 3.5.....

Ow

So last week I think I really did a good job of getting the dieting part down.  This week I want to be better at the fitness part.  I really enjoyed the Your Shape game for the Kinect last night.  It was a great 30 minutes of working out and I left off feeling sweaty and rubbery and good.  Last night for supper I had a big bowl of salad with salsa and a cup of baked rotini with mozerella.  Probably not the healthiest choice, but, I kept the portion small.

I figured I would start today off with a bang and I dragged out the Biggest Loser Boot Camp work out video.  I popped it in and 30 minutes later I was sweating and hurting.  The whole work out seemed to be done in a squat or lunge.  I did it holding onto 8 pound arm weights and my upper body was as tired out as my lower body.  They said it was a calorie burning work out and I'm sure it was!

Ways I can see improoving that workout over the next two weeks...I want to get my lunges a lot lower, especially want to work on that on my bad knee.  I want to get some running shoes.  Working out in Crocs is not fun.  I want to work on the push ups and really make sure I am engaging my abs and core through some of the routine.

The rest of my day involved 7 dogs that needed to be groomed.  I can say that after that work out, my clipper felt a whole lot heavier than it is and I could only get 5 of the dogs groomed.  I just was not able to hold my arms up for any longer than that!

After the work out, for break fast I had a fried egg on squirrley bread with a teaspoon of salsa just for a touch of flavor.  Lunch was skipped since breakfast was a little late, but I ended up having two pieces of squirrely bread with a dash of mayo, a slice of tomato and a half slice of cheese for supper.  I find one of the hardest things to resist is what the rest of the family is eating...tonight I ended up having a bit of the whole wheat spagetti with some meat sauce.  It could have very easily fit inside a cup and there was only about 2 tablespoons of sauce and beef on top.

What's squirrely bread?  It's a sprouted whole grain bread made without flour with all organic ingredients.  It's a very yummy alternative to most yucky breads that are filled with glucose fructose.  It is about 100 calories per slice.

I am full and sore and hydrated.  I think I will take the night to lay in bed with a book.

The weekend and eating out....errrgggg.....

SO after doing so good all week, yesterday we headed into the city for a chocolate making session for the kids...great...I had my will power packed.  I ate a salad with guac and salsa and tuna before we left so that I would be well armoured against any desire to eat out.

We arrived at our friends place and I did excellent.  The kids went about eating their chocolates, melting them down and having fun.  I of course had to try one chocolate pretzel in order to appease my little ones.  Yummy.

Supper came and we decided on KFC.  I figured that shouldn't be too bad, they ought to have a garden salad there as well as the rest of their goodies.  Well they didn't.  So we order a 15 piece meal for the 9 of us.  I figured the temptation would be lower if there wasn't an abundance of food and I thought it needed to be rationed.

I did really well.  I avoided the fatty potato salad.  I avoided the cole slaw, the fries and the gravy.  I had one itty bitty piece of chicken and drank a bunch of water.  I was happy. 

That would have all been good until it started getting late and I was getting hungry.  There weren't the vegitables around to fill the void.  There wasn't the fruit around to grab a snack on...but there were scads of chocolate and I had brought my cinnamon buns.  Even still I managed to maintain some control and only had two more chocolates and a cinnamon buns.  My cinnamon buns are made with course whole wheat and not enriched white flour, so it wasn't a complete loss, I rationalized.  There was also a couple glasses of wine in there....

So it wasn't completely horrible.  We spent the night and headed out in the morning with hungry children.  A stop at walmart and lunch arriving with children who hadn't had brekfast yet, left us with a decision to feed the kids before the two hour drive home.  There stood the glowing M.

So into Mcd's we went with me looking forward to a delicious salad that I know they have...except this location didn't serve salads...or anything remotely healthy.  So A Big Xtra and a Junior chicken sandwich later I was left with a roiling stomach and a heap of regret.  I avoided the pop and the french fries but it was a very small consolation when I looked at the 1000 calories that the two sandwichs consisted off.

So off into Walmart I went again and picked up Zumba and Your Shape for Kinect.

Got home tonight and quickly got through all the chores so that I could head in and start my workout.  I put in Your Shape and spent the next hour going through fitness tests and some cardio workouts.  The sweat was dripping, the knee was aching, the hardly used quad and hamstring on the right leg were cramping up, but I burned off a third of what I consumed at Mcd's and appeased my conscince a little.

I'm Impressed

I'm impressed with myself.  Yesterday was a really good day.  I even stared temptation in the eye and won!

I started off the day with a homemade whole wheat bun with a scrambled egg and touch of salsa on it.  It was yummy and healthy.  Lunch was similar with a whole wheat bun with some tuna and guacamole. 

Unfortunately it was a busy day filled with computer work, and a committee meeting in the evening.  I decided for the meeting I would bake some fresh cinnamon buns out of the oven.  Usually I just make them plain or add in some raisins, but I did some pecan buns, pecan raisin, chocolate chip and chocolate chip raisin ones.  I didn't even have one!  Yes their are more in the freezer and some standing on the counter, but I am able to turn my back on them and not cave in.

I didn't get a work out in but I am planning a good one for later on today.  I think I will pop in and try the biggest loser DVD I have here and see if my knee will hold up to that work out.  I'm also going to scope out kijiji and ebay and see if I can find Zumba and Your shape for wii or kinect.  I think they may also have some good workouts worth doing.

Supper last night, I stayed on a fairly good roll.  I ate around 9:00pm because of the meeting and I was hungry but was able to still make a pretty good supper choice.  I had a bowl of salad with a slice of chedder cheese mixed in and a table spoon of ranch dressing.  I was still hungry so had a second bowl of salad with a table spoon of Guacamole and salsa.  It was bed time after that!

Spagetti?

Yesterday was a good day!  It was very busy with my going back and forth a lot.  I drove Brook to Playschool and then went to visit my mom, so breakfast was skipped as was lunch because by the time I settled in at home, I didn't want to eat before going out to get the chores done.

The chores involve shoveling out about 3000 sq ft of shavings and manure.  It's a job you can break up a sweat doing pretty easily.  Especially if you can combine some boogying to some good tunes while doing it.  It usually takes about 2 hours to complete and I figure it's a pretty good work out.

The kids went to their friends place so for supper we decided we would try the spagetti squash that we purchased this weekend.  We added to it some Newmans Own Maranara sauce with some fresh red peppers mixed in and some fried mushrooms.  It was delicious and very filling.  Total calorie count was under 500 calories.  I was happy with that!

I was pretty exhausted and feeling a little sore from the shovelling and the exercise from the last couple days, so I hit the bed around 9:30 last night and was out pretty quickly.  No late night snacks or ways to wreck the new healthy plan.

Sigh...

Okay, I have come to the conclusion that I have not made a commitment to this yet.  I haven't made a decision to really do this.  Instead I have been coasting...some days I will some days I won't.  Some days the cheeseburger is just to great a temptation.  Some days the bed looks better than the bike...

So yesterday I finally made the decision.  I've had it with dipping my toes in the water.  I'm going to dive in.  I didn't phase myself into being a vegitarian.  One day I ate meat, the next day I decided I wouldn't anymore. 

I'm diving.  I'm wet.  I have to keep strong while grocery shopping and keep the veggies in the house.  I have to resist temptation while making meals with the kids.  I have to ignore what the table is set with and eat my dinner in front of me. 

I have printed off a four weeks to a better body exercise and meal regime and started following it yesterday.  So far so good. 

Yesterday I woke up and had two fried eggs.  For lunch was a garden sald with a tablespoon of tuscan italian dressing with a touch of canned tuna added.  For supper I had the salad and a couple pieces of broiled pork tenderloin.  I've been drinking tons of water.  When my husband went through his late night snacking phase, I had a handful of almonds, a couple raisins and a bit of my daughters popsicle.  I excercised for 20 minutes on my stationary bike with arm weights and movements.  I did a daily 100.  I did a minute of sit ups.  It wasn't a perfect day, but it was better than nothing.

Today I skipped breakfast as we had a trip into the city to do some grocery shopping.  Grocery shopping went well.  Lots of veggies came  home to keep me focused for the week.   We already don't eat processed foods and white flour, so it wasn't difficult to stay away from that stuff.  Lunch brought forth the array of fast food emptations, but we ate at Costco and I was able to say no to the hot dogs, pizza and poutine, although it was all on the table in front of me.  Instead I had the Apple Pecan Chicken Salad.  I only used half the packet of the balsamic venegar dressing... Tonight I resisted all but a taste of the hamburger helper type meal we made for the kids and ate a garden salad with a few peices of cheese and the italian dressing on.  Lots of water...but it was delicios and I am full.  Now to resist the temptation of the late night snack.  I did purchase some frozen yogurt bars that are only about 120 calories, so hopefully they taste fairly yummy.  I haven't had a workout yet, but I'm sure I will get that in tonight once the kids have settled.

So I have made the commitment.  I have cut myself off.  I will do this. I will I will I will....

The little steps

I keep telling myself it's the little decisions....it's the decision to not have seconds at supper....the decision to have one cookie with milk instead of what I used to have 3-4...The decision to have the salad instead of the cheeseburger....

I know that I have never been good at deiting.  I know that I haven't had an exercise regime since high school.  I know I don't want this to be a fad and that I do want to be 50 pounds lighter, at least, a year from now.  I know this is going to require a lifestyle change and not drastic measures.

So I keep telling myself to change things a little at a time and be realistic.  Don't set myself up for failure.  Don't start all gung ho and then fade out like I usually do.  I want this to be lasting and smart.

So a little step at a time...

Disappointed....

I am disappointed in the results from the last few weeks. 

I have been so tired lately that exercise has been the farthest thing from my mind.  I am feeling stretched a little thin.  Our house was hit by a doozy of a flu/cold.  Not to much vomitting but fever and aches for days.  All five kids got it and of course when you spend that much time cuddling and comforting the little ones, we are bond to get it as well.

So the exhaustion from care of them, the lack of sleep due to whining kids, and the outside commitments at the school have all taken their toll and exercise has been virtually nonexistent.

I still have had the chores outside to do.  When you shovel out two barns full of shavings, and lift pictchforks full of hay, there are some calories burned and sweat does run.   We did help the school with moving from the old wing into the new wing which was a lot of heavy lifting and walking.  We do lead a very active life!

So I have to try and keep the calories down.  I have been pretty good with limiting the intake.  When eating out, It's not a couple burgers anymore but it's a salad.  At home I have been able to stick to one helping and have managed to stop the late night snacking.  One other thing I had under pretty good control was the nightly ice cream.  I used to have a big a bowl of that almost every night and have lately have only had two or three bowls over the last month or more.  I didn't realize how many calories the ice cream was adding to my day.

The goal for this month is going to be similar to last month.  Keep down the late night eating and the after dinner snacking.  I am going to try to keep meal times at meal times and not be eating in between.  Part of that goal will be to try and get the supper dishes put away and cleaned up as soon as possible after supper.  Not having it sitting on the stove tempting me every time I walk past will be a huge help.

Weigh in wize, I had lost 10 pounds, but over the last couple days I have put back on 6 of those.  I can this 10 pounds my "easy 10"  They are the 10 that come and go as they please.  When I step on the scale I know I will get on of two numbers.  The 10 might be on or the 10 might be off.  I would like to get under that plateau and keep it there.  Here's hoping.

Calories are Calories?

Tomorrow is the first official weigh in day since I have really started watching calories and attempting to lose weight.  Having a goal like Hawaii is very motivating and I am hoping to see a change.

One of the ways I am trying to amke a change is to make a simple goal every month.  Each goal will add on to the goal before and in this way I hope to make life style changes a little at a time.

The goal for this first month, was to stop eating after 8.  We have a bad habit of having second suppers or big desserts fairly late at night and I wanted to first goal to be to cut those out.  It has been fairly successful so far.  There have been a few night where a snack was eaten, but it was small and no where near the late night calories consumed before.

From my reading this goal seems to be a bit of a controversial one.  Some articles and doctors...Dr, Oz. for one, all seem to agree that eating after 8 is a bad thing and cutting out the late night eating will help you lose the weight.  Other articles say that calories are calories no matter when they are consumed.

I'm not sure who is right, or if there is a right, but I know that cutting out the late night eating has been a positive change to my lifestyle and I am hoping that will be reflected in my weigh in tomorrow....

Decisions decisions....

So it's Friday.  I've made it through 4 days of "real" calorie counting and food restriction.

I used to think that deciding to diet was just in making a decision.  You decided you were going to diet and exercise and life was better for you from that point.  I'd never actually fully committed to that choice.  This time I have.

I've realized it isn't just a choice, one decision.  It's a hundred choices and decisions a hundred times a day.  It's a choice and a decision every time you look at a menu, at every meal and at every craving or oppurtunity where food is available.  You don't just tell  yourself once, you tell yourself over and over and over again through out the day and through out the week.   You need to have your goal at the top of your mind at every minute of every day.

I have way more respect right now for people who have quit smoking.  That is a choice they made one day and a decision they have been faced with a hundred times a day since.  They have the added difficulty of it actually being an addicition and still they have been able to turn their back on it.

I think there are some food addictions.  I think there is also an emotional mental addicition to food.  However, hunger is still hunger and I can choose to fill it with a healtheir alternative containing less calories rather than my normal diet.   I am still able to satisfy myself in a way smokers can not. My hat is off to anyone who has made that choice and has succeeded.

Conviction? Devotion? Will Power?

Why have you forsaken me?  Why is it that I can not seem to call you into the line of duty in this manner?

I read somewhere that it takes 3500 calories burned to lost a pound.  The same article says that is 500 calories a day that you need to either not eat or work off.  It gave a formula of 12 X your current weight is the number of calories it takes to maintain your current level of weight and that  most people will lose weight on 1500 calories a day.

This all doesn't sound difficult!  I can pretty much continue to eat the way I am eating and try and through in a 500 calorie workout everyday...and lose a pound a week.

I can cut back what i am to 1500 calories a day and almost lose a pound a day...throw in some exercise and I should be able to start seeing some success.

So where is my will power to stay away from my cookies, ice cream and carrot cake?  Where is the will power that says no to seconds and thirds...or just orders a salad when we are eating out?

Where is my devotion to an exercise program?  I should be able to find an extra 30 minutes a day that I can work off some calories.

Where is the conviction during the rest of the day that this is a change that needs to happen?

Holidays

People tend to gain between .4 and 1.8 pounds per year.  Most of that is to blame for the time span between Thanksgiving and New Years.  Holiday parties, alcohal, chocolates as gifts and get togethers at people places, not to mention the turkey dinners and the desser tthat goes with them that has us all packing back too many calories at each meal.  Delicious.  Wonderful.  But not for the waist line.

My weight can vary that much or more in a day or two, much less over a year.  Holidays do tend to take their toll, but not by a significant amount.  It does bring home the essential fact that "I have no will power!"

I am the type of person that can purchase a chocolate, take a bite of it and nurse it for weeks...if not longer.  Savoring the yumminess of it for whenever I need a chocolate binge.  I still have a Terry's chocolate orange I purchased 3 months ago...conveniently waiting for me every time I feel the urge to indulge in some chocolate.  However, give me a basket stuffed full with goodies in excess and I am likely to spend all day snacking on them.

I often wonder how in the world I ever survived as a vegetarian.  How did my lack of will power allow me to sit at countless meals where meat was served and not feel the temptation to even try the dishes that were there?  That was only 10 years ago.  If I had will power then to resist what was in front of me, I can have will power again.

I'm not the type for New Years Resolutions.  I am going to try to set a fairly reasonable goal.  Let's say 20 pounds by this time next year.  That should be attainable with steady effort and decisions, not too lofty or over zealous.  That should be a goal I can reach without being discouraged at the end.  Let's aim for weekly weighin's on say, Monday mornings.  Let's give this a try!  It's time to go!